Victor Alberto Bueno Marichal: The most beautiful panda girl in the entire universe

The most beautiful panda girl in the entire universe

Then the panda tutor said:
--Dear, Beloved, Admired, Respected, Favorite, and Eminent (BARFE) Panda Mama, today's lesson is about the cautionary tale. Do you have any preference or priority to assign me, or would you prefer a Quantum Randomness Generator (QRG) to select it from the global library?
Panda Mama was busy adapting the Food Synthesizer Programming Template (FSPT) for the 5-B seafood pizza from Cute Penguin Foods (CPF) to the preferences, characteristics, and needs of her family, and she answered almost mechanically:
--Leave everything to the blind and impartial chance, which, if not fair, is at least neutral.
Something deep in Panda Mama’s mind noticed again that the bot tutor’s greeting clearly lacked any praise for her much-desired genes, which are level five on the Pérez-Chang scale, which measures, ascending from one to five, the degree of adaptation to the current environment, flexibility in the face of variation, and of course, the demand for these genes in official and other gene banks.
She was accustomed to Panda Papa’s childish selfishness and had seen him adapt the tutor bot's behavior to the preferences, characteristics, and needs of his family. In any case, she made a mental note of the matter to include it in her next intimate conversation with him.
Then the panda tutor said:
--Once upon a time, there was a little girl who was so pretty that all the animals fought among themselves, competing for the privilege of playing with her; the little birds silenced their songs to hear hers; and the butterflies preferred to rest in her hands instead of perching on the flowers. She was so beautiful that the trees that didn't have ripe fruit to drop at her feet showered her with flowers and leaves.
The little panda girl interrupted the lesson and asked:
--So what happened when that little girl went to the beach?
--The small fish nibbled at her feet but quite soft. The pelicans paraded in front of her, trying to impress her by flying low over the waves, diving into the water and emerging with their bags full of fish.
--And what about the whales and the big fish?-- asked the little panda boy.
--Out of prudence, the big fish and whales don't come too close to the shore because they can run aground. Anyway, at night, the whales sang serenades to her, and when she went on a boat, the dolphins always greeted her and competed with each other to jump the highest out of the water.
--And what about the insects?-- asked the little panda girl.
--That was very complicated for her. All the mosquitoes wanted to drink her blood, all the flies wanted to suck her skin, all the cockroaches wanted to eat the remains of her food and they would get under her shoes, and sometimes she would accidentally step on them. When she went to the river, she had to put a little insect repellent on her sunscreen.
--And the snakes?--asked the panda boy.
--She was afraid of them, but when she went to the zoo's terrarium, the rattlesnakes competed with each other to be the loudest, and the cobras would rise. The boas and alligators in the lake would also wake up and start swimming.
--And the minerals?--asked the panda girl.
--The whole planet adored her. When she got sad, it rained, and when she was happy, it cleared up and rainbows appeared. In one of her rages, there was an earthquake and a volcano erupted once she got upset. The hurricane and the dead calm were just reflections or echoes of what she was feeling.
--And viruses and bacteria?-- asked the panda boy.
--That was a huge problem for her-- replied the tutor bot, adding:
--She had to wash her hands and face and use antibacterial gel before and after greeting or kissing her friends, because otherwise she would catch her illnesses. When she went to a hospital, she would get sick if she didn't wear gloves and a mask.
--So, EVERYONE loved her-- said the little panda girl, incredulous.
--Yes-- said the tutor bot, very serious and a little tired, and added:
--Of course, many people didn't realize that they loved her and believed that they were only jealous, but when they distanced themselves from her, they regretted it and came back. Of course, they didn't apologize for self-esteem issues. In any case, she wasn't resentful, and since she wasn't conceited, she tried not to make unfortunate people jealous and was patient with almost everyone. With All the people, even if they were very ugly.
That's all.
This story ends here.
--Is that all?-- asked PandavMama, who had been listening from the kitchen.
--What happened when that little girl grew up?
--I don't know, the story ends here. You told me to select a story at random. This text won a short story contest of up to four pages in Incaland of the south. If you want, let's not try to find the moral--replied the tutor bot, almost exhausted.
--I think the moral is that we have to be careful of envy and not encourage it-- said Little Panda Girl.
On the big screen on the wall, fireworks exploded, and the word "EXCELLENT!" began to bounce between the edges.
--I think the moral is that we have to control our temper so as not to hurt ourselves and others-- said Little Panda Boy.
On the big screen on the wall, fireworks exploded, and the word "EXCELLENT!" began to bounce around the edges.
--I think it's time for lunch-- said Panda Mama.
On the big screen on the wall, fireworks exploded, and the word "EXCELLENT!" began to bounce around the edges.

--I'm going to take advantage of this time to recharge my battery-- said the bot tutor, turning off the screen.

The meeting room lights came on, and I asked:
--beautiful BARFE and boss, can I send it to production?
I had to wait for her to finish speaking through her personal digital assistant (PDA). Then she asked me, smiling, though somewhat concerned:
--Would it be too much trouble if you included the bots among the group of worshippers of the most beautiful panda girl in the entire universe? She added, standing up from her chair:
--It's not that they've demanded it, nor that they have access to the pre-production equipment you use, much less your personal equipment, but I think as advertisers and clients they should be taken into account. I think you're far above the mediocre writers who repeat the old theme of bots' contempt for inefficient and ineffective biological beings and their envy of our feelings, incommunicable sensations, souls, creativity, and all that." And she added with a wicked smile:
--It's almost eight o'clock, my favorite pizzeria closes at twelve. Do you think you can send this corrected chapter to production before eleven?
The madman and the old man crossed their fingers.
--I'm sure I will--I said, imitating Panda Papa’s voice. I hope your FS supports my wife's adaptation of the FSPT model 5-B seafood pizza from CPF, which has krill as its secret ingredient.
Then I secretly asked the crazy guy and the old man to remind me that I had to reinforce the security of my equipment.

Victor Alberto Bueno Marichal

Páginas

martes, 29 de abril de 2025

The most beautiful panda girl in the entire universe

--I'm going to take advantage of this time to recharge my battery-- said the bot tutor, turning off the screen.

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