Panda Family

 

Panda Family

"What's this, Mommy?"
Little Panda girl asked her mother, showing her the tip of her right index finger, stained with dust after wiping it on the marble floor of the panda family's apartment.
"Dust" Mama Panda replied.
"The world is dirty and full of germs" said Little Panda boy.
"Dirty and dangerous" Mama Panda repeated, adding:
"It's a good thing we have A-8 Super Cleansing Soap. With A-8 Super Cleansing Soap, everything gets cleaner."
"Everything gets better with A-8 Super Cleansing Soap," Papa Panda repeated, asking:
"What's the best soap?"
"A-8 Super Cleansing Soap!"
The whole panda family shouted.
I looked at the clock in the right corner of the screen; it was 5:55 p.m.
More than three hundred million subscribers and I sighed. The final episode of the year in the Panda Family series was over.
The celebration party was at eight o'clock at night at the most expensive restaurant in the city. I had two hours to be there, and I only had to take the elevator up twelve floors. I decided to stop by my apartment and change, so I took the stairs down one floor and ran into Jean waiting for me by the door.
"Another year, another million," she said, handing me the bottle of Z-9 champagne she was drinking.
"Fifty-six to be exact, not counting the royalties on the memory implants," I replied, smiling.
She almost knocked the bottle over and splashed champagne all over my jacket when she hugged me.
When I opened the door, she went straight to the kitchen to get some cups. I went to the bathroom to pee, and we met in the living room to toast.
"Two years and 1.6 billion subscribers," she said, raising her glass.
We toasted three times.
"We have two hours and 56 million each" I said, then asked:
"Have you thought about what I told you?"
"What?"
"Having children and all that."
"I'm not interested in reproduction at the moment; I'm very busy, I don't have time."
"But now all of that is in vitro, it's automated, and it wouldn't take up much of our time" I replied.
"I really like you. I was about to ask you for the master password to your apartment. My Personal Digital Assistant (PDA) is very compatible with yours. I think your idea of registering and advertising a trademark and then auctioning it off is great"
No one can claim we advertised in a World Organization of Countries (WOC) media outlet because there are no products bearing that brand yet. Your contacts and influence within the WOC are essential to the success of our series, but let's not complicate things. We'll see later. In real life, the panda family isn't like the series.
In an hour and a half, our PDAs relaxed us, bathed us, helped us get dressed, and made us two sandwiches according to our wishes. We both drank two beers of our favorite brands and sat down in the living room, prepared and in clean clothes, waiting, very busy with our PDAs, for some of the quietest ten minutes of our lives to pass.
Then we went up in the same elevator, but we separated in the restaurant. She's the boss and has to sit at the executives' table.
The boss stood up from her seat and shouted after the PDAs in charge of the event placed a microphone over her throat:
"It's ready. I just received confirmation that tomorrow there will be soap, supplies, and A-8 supercleaner brand cleaning robots in every supermarket in the world."
We all applauded.
She waited for those of us who were applauding to tire and continued:
"We did it again. Subscriptions and revenue increased by 30%, and I just approved a 30% salary increase"
We all applauded again.
"In the amplified synthetic virtual reality (ASVR), we have the highest priority access and local bandwidth reserved for one hour starting at 5:00 PM in all time zones for the next two years"
We applauded again.
And she added, raising her glass:
"Congratulations to everyone, especially to my CFP (Current Favorite Partner) for creating the only content that has managed to pass censorship in every country"
Even I applauded again.


Li Tao Po
VABM 14/Mar/2025
https://riistas.wordpress.com/2025/03/14/panda-family/
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